Contact Napping
Oh how I miss those early weeks with my babies, when they would sleep so soundly on my chest, and I could just sit and watch their peaceful little faces, and marvel at the miracle that they are. It is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I'm sure all parents would agree! BUT are there times we need to get something done or have some time to ourselves without a baby constantly attached to our bodies? Yes.
One of the most frequent questions I get is “my baby won’t sleep anywhere but on top of me and screams when I put them down. HELP!” I feel this comment, even now my kids are both toddlers, there are days I would love to not have them constantly attached to me! I also know it’s one of those tricky feelings because you never want this time to end, as they really do grow far too quickly, but you also would love just an hour to do anything and everything or even nothing...ALONE.
I just want to say that wanting your baby to be able to sleep somewhere other than on you or someone else is completely normal and absolutely doesn’t make you a selfish parent. It’s also totally wonderful if you LOVE that your baby will only sleep on you and this just isn’t a problem in your eyes! Then great, you have nothing to change here. As I say - You do you!
If you are struggling with this and you do want to make a change, then great let's get started with a few simple questions you may have:
1. Is it normal that my baby only wants to sleep on me, or my partner? Yes absolutely! WE call this 'contact napping' and it’s especially common for newborns and young infants. During the “fourth trimester,” (the first few months after a baby is born), babies are still adapting to life outside the womb and want to be as close to that womb and you as possible. There are also lots of benefits to contact napping and skin-to-skin with parents!
2. Should I continue to allow my baby to only nap on me?That really is totally up to you. As with so many things, what works for some doesn't work for others. If it is making you happy and you aren't planning on changing this anytime soon, then yes. However, if you think you may want your baby to learn to sleep in other places other than your body, then no.
3. If my baby is older than a few months, is it too late to change this? No. It’s never too late to make a change. I work with children up to 6 years old with behavioral sleep issues and there is always a way to make a change when one is needed or wanted.
So, how can you go about making this change? The following advice can give you some things to work on that can lead to positive changes over time:
1. Create familiarity. If your baby has never been in their moses basket, next to me, cot or even their nursery, chances are that they won't be comfortable in there. Start by creating positive associations with their sleep space. During the day, try playing in the nursery. If your baby is over 1, add a comforter (or blanket, soft toy etc) to the cot and let them see their comforter in there. Spend time in the place you want them to learn to sleep in.
2. Start small with one nap a day. If your baby is still very young, remember that babies get used to what they’re introduced to. So, begin slowly, but start! Just try putting your baby down anywhere but on you or in your arms for just one nap a day. That can be a sleep-safe swing, taking them for a car ride, out in the pram, or preferably their cot/ bassinet etc. If your baby is under 4 months and it doesn’t go well, don't stress, just try again the next day. The important part is to keep trying every single day to help your little one get comfortable.
3. Enlist expert help. If you’re not getting anywhere, becoming overwhelmed, or looking for more immediate help, it’s probably time to reach out. You can reach me via email on keri@sleepymums.com, or feel free to book a FREE consultation with me.
Good Luck,
Keri x